Things happen for a reason. no?

I am gonna be very honest here.
I fear death.
For if i die at this very moment, i will def do so with regrets.
i think i have lied a thousand and one times about how i wish to die early.
It's really irresponsible of me to say so because i know that if this happens, it will rob a large part of some people's lives.

Sometimes I wonder, if men were meant to die, why do they live in the first place?

I can't imagine living without any of my loved ones.
You may think that i am too young to understand all these.
Instead, I should learn how to treasure what I have at the very moment before I lose it.
However, sometimes i wished i didn't own these things regardless of material or relationships, because if i dun own them, i wun lose them. right?
I remembered someone saying, "i am not afraid of losing anything. Since i come to this world with nothing, i will have nothing to lose even if i leave one day."
Ironically, thats what makes me human because i can't survive without any of these.

The news reported today on how a Malaysian construction worker was fatally attacked by 3 white tigers in the Singapore zoo. An accident? or it's just fated?

Just imagine how fragile life is.
As much as we are very aware of this fact, we often knowingly take others for granted.
Or worse, take our own lives for granted because we think that we have all the time in the world.
I wun deny that there are times i harbour on sucha thought.
Because i have the youth,
because i have what it takes,
because i THINK i wun die tmr,
i will always have the time to maximize my potential and make a difference.
BUT then again, what if i blindly walk into a lamp post and never wake up again.
You must be thinking that I am this paranoid silly fool who has nothing better to do but to think of such stuff.
Think again, it can happen to anyone and there are many ppl who die thru sucha so-called 'silly' manner.

I asked a friend how he wants to die.
He replied, i had rather think about How i want to live?
He feels that this shld be reflected on a daily basis.
His bottomline?
To make a difference to people's lives.

I tot it really made sense.
I often say that I wanna live my life to the fullest (cliche i know).
BUT, How am i gonna do so?
How are YOU gonna do so?

It's impossible to live everyday by repeatedly telling each and everyone of them how much they mean to me.
I think knowing how to love yourself is the best way to live.
Know what you want and go for it.
I will seize each moment and never allow any opportunity to slip past me.
It's also the best way to repay those who place me at the centre of their lives.


I guess it must be the weather that makes my mood exceptionally gloomy today. Perhaps, i really belong to the Romantic era. I have been thinking alot lately. Pardon me if i bore you with this entry.