i'm happily attached to you. :)

a moment of time

There are times I just can't help it but feel so alone.
No number of people around me can fill up that space.
It's been around for 4 years?
i guess everyone deserves to be loved,
maybe not me.

maybe it's not the right time,
maybe it's not the right person,
maybe fate didn't factor this in,
maybe it's the circle of friends,
maybe i'm just not trying,

too many maybes.
i'm tired of listening to all these...
i'm really having the time of my life here in Melbourne, yet...

when will there be ( ) who will always be there for me.
i'm trying to learn to be contented. Learn to be emotionally independent.
i'm selfish. i fear that i will have to be on my own in future.
Dun be deceived by that confident facade,
if theres one thing that i fear most in this world; it's emptiness.
that abstract space that innocently sits in the corner,
yet it's deafening silence is enough to kill.
you must be thinking that i shouldn't be over-thinking stuff.
i agree. i dislike myslef for being like that too.
But i'm human.
i guess i'm my best source of consolation.

dancing under the melbourne sky

It's 10.54 pm now. I'm exactly 3 hrs ahead of sg and im still trying to adjust myself cos time seems to past much faster over here. Yes people, it's my 3rd day in Melbourne. Other than the fact that i was desperately homesick on the first 2 days, things are getting slightly better as i get to meet more people and adapt to the local culture. As far as it goes, everyone has been pretty warm towards us :). I guess this is somethg we asians shld pick up on.

I was really caught up with lots of daily activities minus the fact that i still have to cook, wash, pack and do grocery shopping (with alicia.darling of cos). We sound like housewives-to-be huh? Honestly, it hasn't been v.easy but it grants me a sense of satisfaction that I'm capable of surviving on my own as well.

I wanna dedicate a BIG THANK YOU to all of my dearest friendsss who turned up at the airpot to show some moral support. I miss each n everyone of you.

In no particular order:
Lynn, Joanne, Xin Lan, Yat Chun, Sua Cheo, Kingsley, Huey Shyan, Joyce.dear, Ber.fairy, Shin yi, Meizi, Tong Pui, Benedict, pq.dar, xue ting, Yin ting, Jennifer, gugu and last but most importantly my family!

sorry for being sucha crybaby at the departure hall..i guess i cldnt help it since im so attached to u guys. haa. oh well. do me the favour of taking good care of yourselves aight my lovely frens. I can't wait to be back in your arms again. haha.

Oh. I'm really touched by the farewell cards u guys wrote/ made and the presents such as the recipe bk from lan n joanne, notebk from meizi, postcard from shin yi and the ultra-prettyyyy BABY PINK GUESS WATCH! It was really a surprise. I'll def. wear it in remembrance of u guys. love it. <3

Meanwhile i'll turn in soon. I'll prob be back this wkend with all the pics that i have accumulated since my departure. im absolutely burnt out now and theres a FUN DAY OUT event tmr where we will be travelling to another campus. My heart's with you all wherever i am. :)

happymoomooyear

Happy cny to ya all! :) Did you guys enjoy yourself? well i sure did...

First, i apologise for failing to keep to my promise to blog regularly. I have been too caught up during this festive season and i admit the lack of motivation to blog is also sitting in. Currently, i'm bearing a BIG headache over the packing of the damn luggage. Any tips to offer? oh n yes, I'm leaving on the 16th feb @ 9pm.

Well the past mth has been eventful. Met up with my cranky-counterpart, b1 dearest, for some gf-loving, tea at my all-time-fav bakerzinn, night stroll, shopping, cam-whoring n of cos yummy food. Needless to say, the picnic at Marina Barrage with lynny n alicia.darling was simply fantabulous too! The weather was perfect (minus my sunburn), the food was finger-licking gd n the company - awesome! yeehaw~ We really live up to our names for being able to bitch non-stop abt anything under the sun. haha.

I will let the pics do the talking aight. These few shots were randomly picked out of the lot. The full album has been uploaded onto my fb eons ago. see how slow am i with this.

Our geeky-day-out. Haha. Thanks to b1's $2 specs from daiso...we had a hell lot of fun 'experimenting' it! Pardon us for the retarded-ness. lol.

checking her out. HAHHAA. There, stop imagining peeps. :P

It's been 3 years and counting. They say opposites attract and i'm really glad i've found you. Once again, b1, thank you for being sucha great friend all this while and accepting me for who i really am. :) With all honesty, I didn't expect this friendship to blossom over the yrs ever since our first meeting during the dfs days. Love ya! As promised, i'll be camping by msn n keep u updated with the latest juicy stuff. lol. Await your bday prezzie frm aussieland. <3>

Our lovely picnic at marina barrage...

We had home-made mayo-less sandwiches, doritos with salsa, fruit salad, cookies n 'heated-up' jolly shandy! mMMmm..yum yum yum :)

lynnlynnlynn, we r so gonna miss you loads!

DARLING this is specially DEDICATED to you. hahaha. It's suppose to be an artistic shot. (Hint: reflection)

when i look at this picture..this is what that comes into my head.

[L] is for the way you look at me,

[O] is for the only one I see,

[V] is very, very extraordinary

[E] is even more than anyone that you adore

This is what sisterhood is all about...i love my gfs! 'A' yo! This is our stylee. hahaha.
Alrite, next wk's gonna be fully pack again. :)

To blog-haters, thanks for making the effort. One advice for you is to deal with your screwed up lives first before poking your nose into another's business. I have noted your IP add and im absolutely well-aware of who u r. Well, the police post is just around the corner. For the last time, I say dun dare me. I dun owe anyone any explanation so dun act like u know me. I suggest you introduce the definition of KARMA into your empty vessel as well.

i want to get married!!

:*)

yes you didn't hear me wrongly

brb to tell you guys more.

haha.

-updating in progress-

b1b2 geeky outing n picnic with the bitchy souls!

dramamama wayang

I know I have been MIA-ing for quite awhile. All thanks to 2 BIG reasons which kickstarts my dramatic 2009.

1.) Daddy dearest was admitted to cgh last week and I decided to cancel all activities just to spend more time with him. I shall save you the details but thanks for your concern my friends. you know who you are. Hes doing well now.

2.) I'm also busy gan-chionging over the various paperwork (which i swear i so hate) to transfer to on-campus. Well, the clock's ticking faster than i realise and i'm exactly a month away from bidding sg gdbye. As much as I grumble and whineeee about how homesick i MAY become; i can no longer contain the excitement in me esp after attending the pre-departure briefing @ Furama Hotel. Everybody says it's gonna be FUN! really?

Sometimes i wish i had the superpower to fast track time to the end of 2009 so as to know what will become of me. Am i alone at this or do anyone share the same sentiments? lol.

• Will i enjoy life in Melbourne and adapt to the pace of their on-campus teaching?
• Will i be able to meet new people who will make a difference (+ve) in my life?
• Will i come back a better person after graduation?
• Will i get a good job in the PR line by then?
• Will i be able to live up to my own expectations?
• Will i settle down in the next 4-5 yrs to come?
• Will there only be a me; or theres a you too?
• and the list goes on.

I always rant that theres so many things to do yet too little time. It doesn't help that cny is just around the corner. Somehow i dun feel perk-up at all. Believe it or not. Nothing really excites me easily these days except for the coming trip. I'm so dead. This is a premonition that i'm gonna be reduced to a drive-less salted fish.

oh well, theres so much to catch-up with all of you too. Tentatively for next wk, im bked for medical check-up for the student visa, b1-loving and a picnic with the 'sex in the city' Monash gang at Marina Barrage. haa. They shld know how this label evolved.

As you can tell, i'm too bored for my own good; but it gives me the much-needed space to reflect and do what i want.

daddy, my heart's with you.
you'll always be in my prayers.
may god bless you a speedy recovery,
i'll do anything in exchange for your health.
to the most important person in my life
i love you.

maybe it's true that promises were meant to be broken.

and i took a lil peek in that box that has long expired ever since.

that dusty thing. you / me.

the familiar playground, the quiet overhead bridge, the room, the cheesy movie,

the breakwaters, the neverending bus rides, the pool,

the 3 stalks of crimson rose. withered.

the first hello. the last goodbye.

my pursed lips cracked into a smile when i read this. once again.

"i do not love you for who you are.

i love you for who i am when i'm with you"

silly n cliche shitz. but it was love-ed.

well, take a nostalgic break to have a sober moment (fz, 2009).

:)

adieu '08, HOLA 2009!

2008 has been quite a fruitful and memorable year for me.

Stepping into adulthood wasn't merely about elaborate celebrations, freedom and authority.

It also brought along new responsibilities and expectations (both from myself and others).

Standing at 21, i can safely say that i'm still in the process of maturing to be a full-bloom adult.

Like i always lament, time really flies. It really does.

I never knew that my parents have aged tremendously over the years until I had the time to sit down over dinner this holiday and notice the additional wrinkle or grey hair on them.

Sometimes i wonder how much more time do we have together?

Why am i still taking them for granted?

How can i contribute to make the family more loving and peaceful?

Despite the frequent arguments and cold wars, it's needless to emphasize that they remain the centre of my life.

Behind this facade, my greatest fear has always been the fear of losing any of them one day, because i know that the day will def. come, just sooner or later.

Therefore, Thank you papa and mummy for giving me life, for your infinite love, for putting up with my nonsense, for giving me the best of everything, for bringing me up to who i am today. I'm nothing without any of you.

In the course of two-oh-eight, i have also forged priceless friendships. I believe time is the true test of all kinds of relationships and i'm proud to say tat i have weaved strong ones in which i am v.certain the i will keep for life.You guys know who you are yeah :) Thank you my friends for your love and for never failing to be there for me. I'm truly blessed because of you people who are so close to my heart.

I bid farewell to some who i have unintentionally hurt and i sincerely hope that you will move on with something/someone better.

With that, i wanna bid 2008 goodbye and i know that 2009 is my year to continue to shine.

I strive to excel in every aspect of my life and most importantly to graduate smoothly and embark on my career. :*)

The bottomline of my 2009 resolution?

I wanna be a better person, a better daughter and a better friend. I hope to have the courage to step out of my comfort zone and make a difference to other people's lives.

I look forward to another splendid year with less war, less epidemics, better economy, more peace, love and happiness in this world. Most importantly, i wish for good health for my parents and the neverending moo-lahs. haha.

Happy two-oh-nine to all of you.

May the people i love be blessed with the goodness of life :)

With love,
fz