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Haven't been updating regularly as promised. Oh well, i'm pretty fine except for certain hiccups here and there. I have been busy catching up and of cos burning a huge hole in the pocket.
Anyway, i am starting to feel a lil emo these days. I dun know what's wrong. Maybe I am too attached to the life here... i wonder if i'm just excited or paranoid about life in Melbourne?
I wanna visit The Southern Ridge and also take the Singapore Flyer soon. Any takers? haha.
I hope to finish up the things on hand first and stop procrastinating. I think i have my fair share
of fun over the past few wks. It's time I really settle down. REALLY.
After catching a few episodes of Life Transformers on Channel 8, I realised that i'm v. blessed. At this moment, I am well-provided for and I can't believe that
there are actually people in Singapore leading their lives in hell. It's simply unthinkable.
But then again, we derive diff.kinda joy under various circumstances. Material consumption is a channel I unconsciously use to fill up the void.
What a woman needs is the right amount of attention? perhaps.
i'm too drained to tell you more.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Things happen for a reason. no?
I am gonna be very honest here.
I fear death.
For if i die at this very moment, i will def do so with regrets.
i think i have lied a thousand and one times about how i wish to die early.
It's really irresponsible of me to say so because i know that if this happens, it will rob a large part of some people's lives.
Sometimes I wonder, if men were meant to die, why do they live in the first place?
I can't imagine living without any of my loved ones.
You may think that i am too young to understand all these.
Instead, I should learn how to treasure what I have at the very moment before I lose it.
However, sometimes i wished i didn't own these things regardless of material or relationships, because if i dun own them, i wun lose them. right?
I remembered someone saying, "i am not afraid of losing anything. Since i come to this world with nothing, i will have nothing to lose even if i leave one day."
Ironically, thats what makes me human because i can't survive without any of these.
The news reported today on how a Malaysian construction worker was fatally attacked by 3 white tigers in the Singapore zoo. An accident? or it's just fated?
Just imagine how fragile life is.
As much as we are very aware of this fact, we often knowingly take others for granted.
Or worse, take our own lives for granted because we think that we have all the time in the world.
I wun deny that there are times i harbour on sucha thought.
Because i have the youth,
because i have what it takes,
because i THINK i wun die tmr,
i will always have the time to maximize my potential and make a difference.
BUT then again, what if i blindly walk into a lamp post and never wake up again.
You must be thinking that I am this paranoid silly fool who has nothing better to do but to think of such stuff.
Think again, it can happen to anyone and there are many ppl who die thru sucha so-called 'silly' manner.
I asked a friend how he wants to die.
He replied, i had rather think about How i want to live?
He feels that this shld be reflected on a daily basis.
His bottomline?
To make a difference to people's lives.
I tot it really made sense.
I often say that I wanna live my life to the fullest (cliche i know).
BUT, How am i gonna do so?
How are YOU gonna do so?
It's impossible to live everyday by repeatedly telling each and everyone of them how much they mean to me.
I think knowing how to love yourself is the best way to live.
Know what you want and go for it.
I will seize each moment and never allow any opportunity to slip past me.
It's also the best way to repay those who place me at the centre of their lives.
I guess it must be the weather that makes my mood exceptionally gloomy today. Perhaps, i really belong to the Romantic era. I have been thinking alot lately. Pardon me if i bore you with this entry.
I fear death.
For if i die at this very moment, i will def do so with regrets.
i think i have lied a thousand and one times about how i wish to die early.
It's really irresponsible of me to say so because i know that if this happens, it will rob a large part of some people's lives.
Sometimes I wonder, if men were meant to die, why do they live in the first place?
I can't imagine living without any of my loved ones.
You may think that i am too young to understand all these.
Instead, I should learn how to treasure what I have at the very moment before I lose it.
However, sometimes i wished i didn't own these things regardless of material or relationships, because if i dun own them, i wun lose them. right?
I remembered someone saying, "i am not afraid of losing anything. Since i come to this world with nothing, i will have nothing to lose even if i leave one day."
Ironically, thats what makes me human because i can't survive without any of these.
The news reported today on how a Malaysian construction worker was fatally attacked by 3 white tigers in the Singapore zoo. An accident? or it's just fated?
Just imagine how fragile life is.
As much as we are very aware of this fact, we often knowingly take others for granted.
Or worse, take our own lives for granted because we think that we have all the time in the world.
I wun deny that there are times i harbour on sucha thought.
Because i have the youth,
because i have what it takes,
because i THINK i wun die tmr,
i will always have the time to maximize my potential and make a difference.
BUT then again, what if i blindly walk into a lamp post and never wake up again.
You must be thinking that I am this paranoid silly fool who has nothing better to do but to think of such stuff.
Think again, it can happen to anyone and there are many ppl who die thru sucha so-called 'silly' manner.
I asked a friend how he wants to die.
He replied, i had rather think about How i want to live?
He feels that this shld be reflected on a daily basis.
His bottomline?
To make a difference to people's lives.
I tot it really made sense.
I often say that I wanna live my life to the fullest (cliche i know).
BUT, How am i gonna do so?
How are YOU gonna do so?
It's impossible to live everyday by repeatedly telling each and everyone of them how much they mean to me.
I think knowing how to love yourself is the best way to live.
Know what you want and go for it.
I will seize each moment and never allow any opportunity to slip past me.
It's also the best way to repay those who place me at the centre of their lives.
I guess it must be the weather that makes my mood exceptionally gloomy today. Perhaps, i really belong to the Romantic era. I have been thinking alot lately. Pardon me if i bore you with this entry.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
with a cherry on top.
updating in progress...
trying to gather my inspirations to account for my eventful wkend.
here r some shots just in case i am missed. haha.
anw, i know u've been trying to contact me since the beginning of this week.
to ans your queries: i'm not out of town; still alive and kicking.
yes, i forgot to tell you that i am on hols already.
i need time to think things through. thats all.
trying to gather my inspirations to account for my eventful wkend.
here r some shots just in case i am missed. haha.
anw, i know u've been trying to contact me since the beginning of this week.
to ans your queries: i'm not out of town; still alive and kicking.
yes, i forgot to tell you that i am on hols already.
i need time to think things through. thats all.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
yearn
Image Credits: Flickr.com by dhammza "Love is being stupid together"Pure - by Fengzhi
Lie with me like the sudden death of uncertainty,
kiss me with a tongue that plays our symphony.
Churn me into that racing breath of desperation,
Devour gently like a starving man in hibernation.
Lie with me like the sudden death of uncertainty,
kiss me with a tongue that plays our symphony.
Churn me into that racing breath of desperation,
Devour gently like a starving man in hibernation.
Monday, November 3, 2008
If you know me well, you shld be able to tell that I dun like to be told what to do. I dun like people to preach to me about God n all. i truly believe in his existence but i seriously dun need them to come knocking on my door n try to convert me into u-know-this-religion if not i will die tmr. blah blah blah.
And i dislike people who constantly drown in self-pity. If you really think that your life is that pathetic, simply do something about it. No one can help you unless YOU make the first move. I am really irritated by ppl who are healthy and abled yet they endlessly grumble about how unworthy their lives should be and they dun deserve the right to be called humans. How about those who are less fortunate? think about it.
And i dislike people who constantly drown in self-pity. If you really think that your life is that pathetic, simply do something about it. No one can help you unless YOU make the first move. I am really irritated by ppl who are healthy and abled yet they endlessly grumble about how unworthy their lives should be and they dun deserve the right to be called humans. How about those who are less fortunate? think about it.
LULU Liang
It was a really last minute decision to meet-up with ben and tp. I was just rambling on n on about how everyone is unwilling to watch The Coffin with me and yada yada...n then tada, the 2 very nice and gentlemenly chaps (HAHA) decided to accompany me!
The show's isn't THAT scary but i will applaud the camera techniques used. The director employed the subjective shot in majority of the scenes and i think it was quite successful in achieving the mind-gripping effect for a few seconds. And need i mention that Ananda Everingham is a picture perfect? haha. But no, i was not attracted to the show because of him, i'm just intrigued by thai horror stories (yes, it's just me). Oh well, nothing beats Shutter really.
Over dinner we were brainstorming over an English name for me. The usual suspects made me laugh till i was on the verge of rolling on the floor. I could literally feel the strain in my cheek bones!
1.) Lulu Leong
#1 Scenario as a new caster: " Good evening, this is Channel News Asia today, this is Lulu Leong reporting from ..."
#2 Scenario as a PR: " Hi nice to meet you, my name's Lulu Leong. You can call me thriple L or Lulu Liang."
AHAHAHHAHAHHA. thanks to tp...you can imagine the kind of wtf (what the 'Fish Flower Flamingo') face i gave him.
Ben liked the name Cordelia Leong and tp was into Delaila. The names i gave sounded too porn-like to them (or so they say, since i'm really innocent n i dun know about such stuff) lalala.
However, the final verdict is...-drums roll-
Lulu Leong rhymes the best.
wth. PLEASE i beg u.. dun call me that or i promise to bite your head off.
Oh, and we forgot to camwhore...next time then. Anyway, i'm just one lucky bitch unlike some ppl who have morning and afternoon lessons the next day. haha. Chek Jawa trip next?
Any suggestions for a new serious English name that suits me..suits my face etc.?
(Leave out the common or pornish ones. thanks.)
The show's isn't THAT scary but i will applaud the camera techniques used. The director employed the subjective shot in majority of the scenes and i think it was quite successful in achieving the mind-gripping effect for a few seconds. And need i mention that Ananda Everingham is a picture perfect? haha. But no, i was not attracted to the show because of him, i'm just intrigued by thai horror stories (yes, it's just me). Oh well, nothing beats Shutter really.
Over dinner we were brainstorming over an English name for me. The usual suspects made me laugh till i was on the verge of rolling on the floor. I could literally feel the strain in my cheek bones!
1.) Lulu Leong
#1 Scenario as a new caster: " Good evening, this is Channel News Asia today, this is Lulu Leong reporting from ..."
#2 Scenario as a PR: " Hi nice to meet you, my name's Lulu Leong. You can call me thriple L or Lulu Liang."
AHAHAHHAHAHHA. thanks to tp...you can imagine the kind of wtf (what the 'Fish Flower Flamingo') face i gave him.
Ben liked the name Cordelia Leong and tp was into Delaila. The names i gave sounded too porn-like to them (or so they say, since i'm really innocent n i dun know about such stuff) lalala.
However, the final verdict is...-drums roll-
Lulu Leong rhymes the best.
wth. PLEASE i beg u.. dun call me that or i promise to bite your head off.
Oh, and we forgot to camwhore...next time then. Anyway, i'm just one lucky bitch unlike some ppl who have morning and afternoon lessons the next day. haha. Chek Jawa trip next?
Any suggestions for a new serious English name that suits me..suits my face etc.?
(Leave out the common or pornish ones. thanks.)
Sunday, November 2, 2008
This was written on 13/6/06
He died - by Fengzhi
A dozen swords pierced through the struggling bait,
Choked up in puddles of oozing red, was the call for a silent break.
Jailed in a devoured heart that lost a once loving mind,
Endless gasps gradually drowned a passionate divine.
Black tears flooded Earth, heaven mourned for it's fallen angel.
Buried in the depths of pain left the grieving print of a shattered soul.
His expressionless skin was a portrait that she was never whole,
Adieu my love, she fell in his arms he couldn't hold.
A journey of choppy waves hid the awaken horizen from afar,
Captures of the past stained with a cracked smile dipped in flaw.
Jaded in the baggage of streaming sorrow,
Sealed in that unspoken tomb, Te Amo.
This piece was inspired by some personal experiences and also about the vulnerabilities in life. At the age of 19, i think i knew too much then. There were certain aspects in my life that were not within my control as much as i wished to believe that destiny was in my hands. I promised never to look back because those were just memories then. However, i took it up again today because i'm able to do so with a smile and realised that when you lose something, you really gain something in life. Sadly, life is a transaction and we can never have the best of both worlds. The best way to do yourself a favour is to learn to let go completely. For i will always remember what this special one said "Smile because today might just be your last."
This is just one of my original compositions. i would appreciate that you inform me in advance if you are using it :)
A dozen swords pierced through the struggling bait,
Choked up in puddles of oozing red, was the call for a silent break.
Jailed in a devoured heart that lost a once loving mind,
Endless gasps gradually drowned a passionate divine.
Black tears flooded Earth, heaven mourned for it's fallen angel.
Buried in the depths of pain left the grieving print of a shattered soul.
His expressionless skin was a portrait that she was never whole,
Adieu my love, she fell in his arms he couldn't hold.
A journey of choppy waves hid the awaken horizen from afar,
Captures of the past stained with a cracked smile dipped in flaw.
Jaded in the baggage of streaming sorrow,
Sealed in that unspoken tomb, Te Amo.
This piece was inspired by some personal experiences and also about the vulnerabilities in life. At the age of 19, i think i knew too much then. There were certain aspects in my life that were not within my control as much as i wished to believe that destiny was in my hands. I promised never to look back because those were just memories then. However, i took it up again today because i'm able to do so with a smile and realised that when you lose something, you really gain something in life. Sadly, life is a transaction and we can never have the best of both worlds. The best way to do yourself a favour is to learn to let go completely. For i will always remember what this special one said "Smile because today might just be your last."
This is just one of my original compositions. i would appreciate that you inform me in advance if you are using it :)
Innocence is really a bliss
i was flipping through some pics, read some old entries...it's nostalgia u say but i realised that i'm not me anymore. It really scares me to witness how much i have changed over the past 4 years or so. The only constant is that I have been very well-loved all these while. However, there are some things which i wished could be undone. There are some people that i wished i had spent more time with because i will never ever get the chance to again.
It's been a year and 7mths but it still feels the same.
i still do miss you,
grandma.
Life is a contradiction. As i was telling tp, i do welcome changes but there are times i fear to move out of my comfort zone. oh well, live to learn he says. very true indeed.
i have learnt to accept changes because it's either you catch up with the pace of life or simply be eliminated.
"Our loved ones are the most accurate mirrors, they reflect the most unloving aspects of ourselves that we work to escape."
it's 4.36a.m now. i hear my bed calling out to me.
goodnite or rather goodmorning world.
brb.
It's been a year and 7mths but it still feels the same.
i still do miss you,
grandma.
Life is a contradiction. As i was telling tp, i do welcome changes but there are times i fear to move out of my comfort zone. oh well, live to learn he says. very true indeed.
i have learnt to accept changes because it's either you catch up with the pace of life or simply be eliminated.
"Our loved ones are the most accurate mirrors, they reflect the most unloving aspects of ourselves that we work to escape."
it's 4.36a.m now. i hear my bed calling out to me.
goodnite or rather goodmorning world.
brb.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
goodbye hitchcock, hola to all!
i am already smelling the sweetness of freedom.. yum. who doesn't love holidays?
well well, welcome to my new home! It's time i move on from the previous. i know it's the most cheesy and cliche way to start this new space, but i dun really care because it's MY blog. i will be responsible for my words but if you don't like it, simply don't read it :)
A word of caution, this lil space will definitely contain my daily rants, routines, narcissistic shots and whatsnot...but it will also include some of the poems that i have written b4 or perhaps potential ones in future. That's the best way to express myself --> thru ambiguity. haha.
i can't emphasize more on how time flies. i will be gone by mid-feb. it's a good test for me to be away from the sheltered life i have always been blessed with. i swear to come back a better person. i know i can do it.
Enough of Hitchcock and his Psycho, Marguerite Duras and her Lover from North China to whatever sea that has got a wall..haa. Just one more sem to my graduation; i can't wait to start work and enjoy the right to support myself. yeah.
Right now, i have a whole list of unfinished business. Gotta settle the transfer to on-campus (Monash-Gippsland), apply for internship, settle our online business, maybe renew my membership with Amore, continue my physio at sgh for my back prob, endless catch-ups with the important ppl yada yada.
i shopped my ass off at Orchard for 10 hours straight right after my exams ystd. wee. I applaud my stamina because i haven't slept a wink the night before. I just wanna let go and play hard now. haa. i am a country bumpkin who haven't sat the singapore flyer YET, i wanna try the fish spa, i wanna have more cycling trips to Chek Jawa and i wanna watch more MOVIES. i really need to get my social life back on track. haha.
1.) Madagascar 2
2.) The Coffin
3.) Twilight
etc...and more indie films pls...i'm a Picture House lover.
so here's an announcement: Peeps out there, i'm a bird out of the cage for now. Feel free to make your appointments/dates before i start to be busy n u lovelyones will most likely go like "AGAIN?" HAHA.
thats all for a start. a good start i hope. after mths of cracking my head, i figure that this will be the best way for you me to keep-in-touch when i'm over at the other hemisphere. do use my tagboard, i dun want it to be a white elephant. i will try to update this site regularly.. so be with me :)
p.s. do turn on ur speakers, this blog has music...i will change it occasionally.
well well, welcome to my new home! It's time i move on from the previous. i know it's the most cheesy and cliche way to start this new space, but i dun really care because it's MY blog. i will be responsible for my words but if you don't like it, simply don't read it :)
A word of caution, this lil space will definitely contain my daily rants, routines, narcissistic shots and whatsnot...but it will also include some of the poems that i have written b4 or perhaps potential ones in future. That's the best way to express myself --> thru ambiguity. haha.
i can't emphasize more on how time flies. i will be gone by mid-feb. it's a good test for me to be away from the sheltered life i have always been blessed with. i swear to come back a better person. i know i can do it.
Enough of Hitchcock and his Psycho, Marguerite Duras and her Lover from North China to whatever sea that has got a wall..haa. Just one more sem to my graduation; i can't wait to start work and enjoy the right to support myself. yeah.
Right now, i have a whole list of unfinished business. Gotta settle the transfer to on-campus (Monash-Gippsland), apply for internship, settle our online business, maybe renew my membership with Amore, continue my physio at sgh for my back prob, endless catch-ups with the important ppl yada yada.
i shopped my ass off at Orchard for 10 hours straight right after my exams ystd. wee. I applaud my stamina because i haven't slept a wink the night before. I just wanna let go and play hard now. haa. i am a country bumpkin who haven't sat the singapore flyer YET, i wanna try the fish spa, i wanna have more cycling trips to Chek Jawa and i wanna watch more MOVIES. i really need to get my social life back on track. haha.
1.) Madagascar 2
2.) The Coffin
3.) Twilight
etc...and more indie films pls...i'm a Picture House lover.
so here's an announcement: Peeps out there, i'm a bird out of the cage for now. Feel free to make your appointments/dates before i start to be busy n u lovelyones will most likely go like "AGAIN?" HAHA.
thats all for a start. a good start i hope. after mths of cracking my head, i figure that this will be the best way for you me to keep-in-touch when i'm over at the other hemisphere. do use my tagboard, i dun want it to be a white elephant. i will try to update this site regularly.. so be with me :)
p.s. do turn on ur speakers, this blog has music...i will change it occasionally.
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